#8

Hey little asshole,

I am finally starting to feel somewhat human again. On the tale of some severe morning sickness I got the stomach flu, have lost weight, strength and at certain times, a will to live (oh the drama). So far this pregnancy has been difficult both emotionally and physically. Although you are the closest to me literally, that anyone or thing has ever been, I still find myself feeling that this isn’t real sometimes. Remodel is on schedule, I’ve told my boss I’m knocked up and I’m chugging along… but one thing is for sure, I do not feel like a mother. My co-worker told me, in her infinite teen mom wisdom, that when I was handed my little slimy baby I would melt into a puddle of moosh. Quite frankly little asshole, I certainly fucking hope so because these maternal instincts I was promised have yet to expose themselves in any touchy feely way. I’m doing everything right; eating well, taking vitamins, sleeping 8 hours a night and toting around a jug of water… I will never be accused of sloughing off my prenatal responsibilities; however, I am waiting for my heart bleed. We got a puppy, to befriend our existing dog that I love so much. The poop, crying in the middle of the night and sheer disregard for my schedule or comfort from this puppy is unfortunately giving me an unpleasant taste of what it’ll be like when you’re here. Yip-ee.

-Forever queasy.

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