Dear asshole,

You’re soon to be grandma stopped by my office today with 6 sample cups of salad to try for possible wedding side dishes. She is babysitting her great nephew today and he squirmed and ran all over my office and even accidently did an “page all” on my phone. He’s really cute, family members say he looks just like fiancé did when he was a tubby little thing. It got me thinking about you… and the future. I was officially accepted into the online teaching program, starts after the honeymoon and I REALLY hope it leads to a full time position of some kind that I can hustle from home. Having the little sticky tub tearing through my office today really solidified my passion and desire to raise you myself… at home… just the two of us. Fiancé and I have the best house out in the country; you’re going to love it. It made me happy that future mother in law is down to babysit and was doing such a great job with sticky tubby McTubberson. I guess we are on the wedding finish line… you’ll be a reality before I know it. By the way, we are going with the santa fe pasta salad and bacon ranch green salad… If you give two shits, because I know I don’t (I wanted to elope).

-Thoughts swirling.


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